I’ve been in a funk for the past few months.
It seems like at the end of December/beginning of January, I always get excited about the possibilities of the new year. It’s the new calendar syndrome — a blank slate just waiting to be written.
Except, this year I just can’t seem to pull it all together. Instead of tapping into vast creative opportunities, I have found myself lost in Netflix and Bejeweled Blitz marathon sessions.
I tried to trick myself into becoming productive. I decided to really focus on my art again. I had squirreled away canvases and paints just waiting for the day I could start experimenting. I bought a tabletop easel.
And there the canvas sat, on my kitchen table, mocking me. I stared it repeatedly but could not muster the courage to pick up the paintbrush to start.
I decided to go for something less intimidating — sketching. So with a very inexpensive sketch pad and a No. 2 pencil, I began to draw.
I am a little out of practice, but the whole point was to just do it and hopefully get better along the way.
So I started.
My wolf cub did not turn out very well. But I was drawing. So I kept going.
The picture of my son turned out a little better.
At first I was not happy with my wolf sketch, but the longer I looked at it the more I liked it.
My lady is not perfect but better.
Tonight, after sitting ignored for a month, I picked up the paint brush and added paint to the canvas. It will need a lot of work so I am no where close to showing it. My first images where totally wrong so I had to paint over them and start over. But that was ok. In fact, I realized that this first canvas is learning process. Whatever I do is ok because and I am doing something new and creative. Hopefully, it will be what I need to break out of my funk.
From time to time, we all get the blues. Maybe it is because we are overwhelmed at work or at home. Maybe it is because life just got hard and we don’t know what to do. Or feel helpless to do anything. Maybe it is when we compare ourselves to others and find ourselves lacking. We feel down and move to avoid feeling or thinking. So we do something mindless like zoning out in front of the TV or computer. And then we beat ourselves up for wasted time and opportunities.
Every journey starts with one step. Sometimes our path is blocked and we have to back track before we can move forward again. The important part is making that step. Then keep stepping.