cosmic chaos

cultivating calm & creativity in my corner of the world

Archive for the category “Writing”

Happy Mid-Year!

A couple of years ago, I started using a July – June calendar.  I have always loved that feeling on January 1st of entering a brand new year full of possibilities.  I get the same feeling of potential  and anticipation when I look at a brand new calendar that starts on July 1st.

As I fill in activities and notes on my new calendar, I also get the chance to assess how things are going so far in the year.  I can look at the goals I set in January and ask myself what progress I have made.  If the answer is none to little, I know that I have some work to do.

Goals are a great way for people to challenge themselves to accomplish the things they want.  But setting a goal without doing more is like leaving a recipe on the kitchen counter then expecting a full meal to be ready the next time I walk into the kitchen.  It just isn’t going to happen without some effort on my part.  There are a couple of lessons I have learned about goal setting.

1.  A goal needs to be attainable. 

If my goal is for my whole family to go white water rafting but one of my children is petrified of water, my goal is not feasible.  Setting an unattainable goal is a sure formula for failure so it is important to make goals can be accomplished.

2.  Create an action plan. 

Think through all the steps needed to meet the goal.  If the goal is to write more, the action steps may look like this:

  • identify a dedicated writing space in my home
  • set up the dedicated writing space
    • clear out the space
    • bring in a small table and chair
    • bring in a supply of notebooks and pens (I like to write my first drafts out in long hand)
    • mark off a time to write everyday
    • let family know I am not available during writing time
  •  set a reminder (calendar, cell phone alarm, etc) for writing time
  • write

3.  Evaluate.

Mid-year is a great time to check in on how the goals are going.  If the answer is everything is great, then keep up the good work!  But often the answer is that progress has stalled.  Take a few minutes to identify the challenges and see if changing the action plan can help.

In the writing goal example, perhaps there are too many distractions at home to be able to write.  Instead of giving up the goal of writing more,  the action plan can be changed to reserving a work space or small meeting room at the local library in order to write outside of the home. By evaluating progress toward goals, changes can be made to move toward success even if it means changing goals.

One of my goals for this year was to blog more regularly.  At the end of 2017, a close family member died.  Since then I have not been as creative as I would like to be.  I just did not want to write, draw, paint or create at all.  I filled my time with other things so my grief would not flow into my writing.  I was not ready to go there.  Which leads to ……

4.  Stuff happens.  

That’s the other thing about goals.  Sometimes life happens and plans are interrupted.  A personal crisis occurs.  Work responsibilities shift.  You have to move from what you thought was your forever home.  It is so easy to feel guilty for not being able to handle whatever is going on.  I know that I am my worst critic.  But it is ok to be kind to ourselves.  To understand the we all need time to adjust.  Often, our goals are still attainable.  Maybe there needs to be a new timeline.  Maybe the goal needs to be modified.  Keep at it.  Every day is a new opportunity to work toward a goal.

As I look to the second half of 2018, I am doing my self check in.  I am asking:

  • Is this an attainable goal?
  • Did I think out the actions steps I need to accomplish my goal?
  • Am I working through the action steps?
  • Do I need to modify my goal?
  • Do I need to eliminate this goal ?
  • Is there a different goal that would serve me better?

And I am giving myself a fresh start where I have stalled.

Happy Mid-Year!  Wishing you a sense of renewal and wonder for what is yet possible in 2018!




I was invite to be a guest on the Faith & Tech podcast to talk about my experience publishing with Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing and CreateSpace. Here are the links:…/one-off-technology-…/id1083085548


March Motivation

March has brought some creative opportunities.

Last year I was contacted about the local writers guild providing a series of writing workshops.  After a looonnnngggg planning and preparation period, we presented the first workshop this week. Everything went really well.  It is so satisfying watching a group delve into prompts, transforming experiences into written passages.  I am looking forward to the next class!

Also next week, the local library is hosting an authors fair.  I am excited to be one of the 13 authors participating!  This event has pushed me to create that long overdue bookmark to promote myself.  Promotion is the hardest part of being a writer.  The authors fair is a great combination of promotion and inspiration.

Here’s hoping for a year full of creative opportunities!


Snow March 2017

The great South Carolina snow of March 2017!



A Little Help from Friends

I was happy to welcome 2017 but the truth is that the things that complicated 2016 didn’t just disappear at the strike of midnight on 12/31/16.

Family stress, work stress and various obligations have continued throughout January.  Sometimes, it is easier to just withdraw, shrink into yourself and stay isolated.

My local writers group hosted a writing workshop today and yours truly was the planning coordinator.  I have to admit, I really wanted to bury my head in my covers and just sleep-in this morning.  But the coordinator has to show up.  So I did.

There is something about being in a group of artists, whether literary or visual.  There is an energy that grows and spreads.  As we delved into words, writing exercises and sharing experiences, I found my mood lifting.  I tackled the writing exercises with gusto and enjoyed hearing everyone’s work.  I even started a new poem this evening, something I haven’t done in weeks.

Creativity breeds creativity.  Whether an art/writers guild or an inspirational friend, it is important to make connections that motivate your inner muse.


 Happy Creating!


Sooner or Later, We All Sing the Blues

I’ve been in a funk for the past few months.

It seems like at the end of December/beginning of January, I always get excited about the possibilities of the new year. It’s the new calendar syndrome — a blank slate just waiting to be written.

Except, this year I just can’t seem to pull it all together. Instead of  tapping into vast creative opportunities, I have found myself lost in Netflix and Bejeweled Blitz marathon sessions.

I tried to trick myself into becoming productive.  I decided to really focus on my art again.  I had squirreled away canvases and paints just waiting for the day I could start experimenting.  I bought a tabletop easel.

IMG_1244 (1)

And there the canvas sat, on my kitchen table, mocking me. I stared it repeatedly but could not muster the courage to pick up the paintbrush to start.

I decided to go for something less intimidating — sketching. So with a very inexpensive sketch pad and a No. 2 pencil, I began to draw.

I am a little out of practice, but the whole point was to just do it and hopefully get better along the way.

So I started.


My wolf cub did not turn out very well.  But I was drawing.  So I kept going.


The picture of my son turned out a little better.


At first I was not happy with my wolf sketch, but the longer I looked at it the more I liked it.


My lady is not perfect but better.

Tonight, after sitting ignored for a month, I picked up the paint brush and added paint to the canvas.  It will need a lot of work so I am no where close to showing it. My first images where totally wrong so I had to paint over them and start over. But that was ok.  In fact, I realized that this first canvas is  learning process.  Whatever I do is ok because and I am doing something new and creative. Hopefully, it will be what I need to break out of my funk.

From time to time, we all get the blues.  Maybe it is because we are overwhelmed at work or at home.  Maybe it is because life just got hard and we don’t know what to do. Or feel helpless to do anything.  Maybe it is when we compare ourselves to others and find ourselves lacking. We feel down and move to avoid feeling or thinking. So we do something mindless like zoning out in front of the TV or computer. And then we beat ourselves up for wasted time and opportunities.

Every journey starts with one step. Sometimes our path is blocked and we have to back track before we can move forward again.  The important part is making that step. Then keep stepping.



Lessons Learned – Part 2

“If You Build It, They Will Come — Not!”

After many years of writing, re-writing, and querying I finally published my novel Blood Adversaries as a both an e-book on Kindle and in print.  As I pressed the publish button, I imagined my book traveling through the internet to find its way into the hands of eager readers.

I had done enough research to know that I would need to promote my book.  I created an author page on Facebook. I announced the release on my blog and on LinkedIn.  I outlined ways to promote my book.  I thought I had a solid promotion plan.

What I found was that it isn’t all that easy and sometimes life just gets in the way of committing all the time necessary to promoting.

The majority of my marketing plan centered on social media.  I had read tips on using Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest and Goodreads as conduits for creating an author platform and promoting a book.  So I created author pages, shared links to my book and blogged about my book release.   I contacted friends who liked the paranormal/horror genre and asked them to share my link with their friends.  I scheduled a free giveaway of the Kindle version of my book on Amazon.  Then I sat back and waited for the likes to come in and books sales to happen.

Except — it didn’t.

Just a few weeks after releasing my book, my husband was sent out of state for a four month work assignment.  My time was consumed with taking care of my sons with their very active schedules and our home. Then my work position changed increasing my responsibilities threefold.   There was not a lot of time for promoting my book.  Before I knew it, a year had gone by and my book sales were minimal.

My takeaways on promoting a novel?

  1.  Authors absolutely need an electronic presence.  Social media is a key element to promote authors and books.  But social media alone is not enough.  Authors still need to have face to face meetings to promote themselves.
  2. You have to get out of your comfort zone.  Talk to people.  Plan a book signing.  See if you can be part of another event.
  3. Keep at it.  Rarely is there a true overnight success.  Read about some of the best know breakout authors and you will find years dedicated to writing and self promotion before they become household names.
  4. Really, keep at it!  Promoting a book is an on-going process.  Add new things.  Build on what works.
  5. Stuff happens.  Things don’t always run smoothly.  If you stall, don’t let it stop you.
  6. Just do it!



Blood Adversaries Giveaway on Goodreads

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Blood Adversaries by Charlotte Koon Ehney

Blood Adversaries

by Charlotte Koon Ehney

Giveaway ends February 29, 2016.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

I am giving away four signed copies of my novel Blood Adversaries through To get more information and enter, click the links above.

Lessons Learned – Part 1

“It’s Not as Easy as You Think”

Twenty years ago, snippets of a story started swirling in my head.  I jotted them down and kept asking myself what happens next.  On and off, I worked on my little story until I knew the characters intimately.  I thought about these characters all the time.  About five years after I had started, I had a complete story.  My first novel was done.  I set it aside to rest.  I needed a break from my story.

A few months later I read my novel. My excitement melted away as I realized that it was horrible.  There were holes in the plot, cliche scenes and bad transitions.  It didn’t work. But I loved my characters. I knew they had a story worthy of telling and was not willing to give up on them.  A couple of months later, I decided to started all over.  I tore my novel apart and re-wrote everything.  This too took a number of years to complete.  But finally, I finished.

I began the query process, convinced that it would only be a short time  before I landed an agent and soon after that my book would be in bookstores all over the country.  Except, it didn’t happen.  I started getting rejection letters.  In fact, all the queries I sent were rejected.  There is an old adage that if you continue to have the same issue with people over and over, maybe you are the problem.  Once again, I re-read my novel with a critic’s eye … and I found it lacking.  Back to the drawing board.

I took some time and re-wrote my entire novel. I studied writing magazines and updated my query letter.  Then I started the query process again.  This time I actually got some interest.  Several agents asked for partials (the opening chapters of the book) to read. Alas, those too ended up being rejected.  But I felt really good about my novel. Several people who liked the paranormal genre test read my novel and the feedback was very positive.

I decided that if I truly believed in my book, I needed to self publish.  So I released Blood Adversaries as an e-book through Amazon Kindle.  E-books are great.  They are easy to obtain and convenient.  Storage is not a problem.  But book signings are a little difficult with e-books.  When I went to my writer’s guild meetings, I couldn’t help being a little envious of my fellow authors who had print versions of their books they could actually hold in their hands.  At a book festival I attended, I learned about Create Space.  It wasn’t long before I had a print version of Blood Adversaries available.

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My takeaways from this process?

  1.  Writing a novel is both art and skill.  You can be a gifted writer but you still need to take time to learn the writing process.
  2. You have to be critical of your own work.  You can love your story but to make it publishable you have to be willing to make changes to improve your novel –changes that sometimes alters your original characters and story lines.
  3. Rejection is not terminal.  If you put your work out to the public, some people will love it, some people will be ambiguous and some will hate it.  You have to be confident in your own work (and yourself) to face rejection and keep on going.
  4. Where there is a will, there is a way.  Today more than ever you can get your work published.  Research the options and know what you are paying for.  At Create Space, I was able to use their templates to upload my manuscript.  I edited my own work and designed my own cover.  The only costs I had were the printed proofs I purchased.

Blood Adversaries

As I’m working to get my second novel, Family Vows, into print, I thought I would share an excerpt from my debut novel, Blood Adversaries. Enjoy!

Chapter One

Friday, September 1


Jonathan thudded through the trees, struggling to keep his balance in the dark. As he hurried along, Jonathan kept the ancient book tucked tightly under his arm. His heartbeat roared in his ears drowning out any other sounds. His side ached.

Jonathan pushed past the pain even though all he really wanted was to stop and drop to the ground. If that wasn’t enough, his chest burned as his heart and lungs strained to keep up with the pace he set. He longed to turn around and head home. To shut himself away in the safety of his own apartment. To lose himself in research for his dissertation. Or maybe have a sci-fi movie marathon from his massive collection of DVDs.

As his mind wandered, Jonathan stumbled over his own feet. He fell hard on his stomach and the old book flew from his grip.

“No, no, no,” he mumbled. He frantically patted the ground around him. He’d come too far to lose the book because of something stupid like tripping. Everything he had wanted was on the line – completing his Ph.D., becoming a professor, publishing his work, earning the respect of the academic world. His fingertips brushed against the cracked leather cover. Relief washed over him. He lifted the book and hugged it tightly against his chest.

Damn the book! It simultaneously inspired and cursed him. It didn’t look different from any of the countless old volumes he had studied over the past seven years. It smelled musty and old. A rough cover housed pages brown with age and silky from use but without the frailties usually associated with an ancient book. The pages were strong and pliable and the ink remained dark. Jonathan loved old manuscripts but from the first moment he touched this one, he knew it was different. Instantly he felt a sense of devotion, of protectiveness toward it. Long ago someone had given it the title Munimentum Codex, Latin for Fortification Book. Somehow Jonathan knew it was more than that. It was his destiny.

He crawled to the closest tree and sat. His eyes stung from the sweat dripping down his forehead. He swiped at his face. No time to stop now. He focused on his next movements.

There were only a few more yards of wooded land. Then Jonathan would have to cross an open field. No cover. No place to hide. Just a clearing where he would be vulnerable. He listened for any sounds of pursuit like leaves crackling under a foot or branches scraping over a body. He only heard his own labored breathing.

He laughed silently. Of course there was nothing. He had slipped away from Dameon unobserved. No one had a reason to be after him. Only his imagination, his own fear, chased him.

Coward, he chided himself. He fought to catch his breath. His gut spilled over the top of his jeans onto his thighs where it seemed to shake on its own. Revulsion washed over Jonathan. He regretted the years of self abuse, of comforting himself with junk food when he was lonely and when he hurt. Locking himself away to his studies. Letting his body go to pot as he expanded his mind. Never realizing that one day he would actually need a strong, healthy body. And now it was too late.

If his luck held out, it wouldn’t matter. He’d simply cross the field, zigzag through the town and return to the university. He’d meet his contact and turn over this book that had caused so much trouble. Once it was gone he would get back to his own life. Finish his dissertation. Earn his Ph.D. Leave the country if needed. Above all, he vowed that he would lead a very boring life.

The idea of giving the book to someone else filled him with grief. For a moment he considered simply hiding the book among his other tomes. Even as the idea crossed his mind, he knew it wouldn’t work. The book needed to be in a safe place, away from those who hunted it. More importantly if Jonathan was truly honest with himself, he had to admit his own reaction to the book scared him. He needed to be away from its influence.

Jonathan shook his head, dispersing the thoughts that clouded his reason. He had wasted enough time on himself. He knew he couldn’t stay here forever. Even if no one realized he was gone from the house, it was better to put distance between him and them. Lots of distance. He gently stroked the book in his hands. Perhaps it would be better not to have it in plain sight.

He unbuttoned his coat and ran his hand across the bottom until he found the zipper for the quilted lining. Jonathan’s fingers trembled as he fumbled with it.

Relax. This is the easy part, he told himself.

Jonathan breathed in deeply and tried again. This time the zipper slid smoothly across the track. He pushed the book into the space between the coat shell and the lining, then zipped it shut. He adjusted the book until it rested along the front bottom of his coat. When he was satisfied that the book was well hidden, he buttoned his coat. Jonathan strained his ears listening for anything out of the ordinary. After a few minutes, he decided it was time to continue. Slowly, he rose to his feet. The book banged against his thigh. His legs quivered beneath the weight of his body.

He filled his lungs with cool, crisp air before forcing himself to move forward, away from the protective screen of trees. He took small steps to allow the blood to flow through his numb legs again. A nearly full moon illuminated the night. Eerie shadows crossed the ground before him. As Jonathan broke through the woods and into the clearing, he quickened his pace. Sweat trickled down his neck. The silence of the night burned his ears. His eyes flicked from side to side, trying to pierce through the edges of darkness the moonlight did not reach.

“Stay in control. Stay in control,” he whispered to himself. However, the monsters in the pit of his stomach gnawed at him causing a wave of panic to erupt. A cry escaped his lips as Jonathan began to run.

The woods were just ahead of him. A few more minutes and he would be protected from sight again. Jonathan picked a focal point and concentrated on reaching that spot. As he got closer, he relaxed. He was going to make this work. All of it. Even if it meant relinquishing his former dreams. For so long, he wanted nothing else than to teach history. Now he was striving to preserve the present despite the sacrifices. He wasn’t sure when he had made the decision to move from passive observer to participant but he did know that he had just changed the course of his life. He smiled. It seemed life was full of surprises.

Abruptly, all light disappeared. He stopped in his tracks.

It’s only a cloud passing over the moon, Jonathan rationalized. In spite of his efforts, fear tore through him. Jonathan cautiously stepped forward. The night enveloped him, robbing him of his sight and allowing noises to assault him. The sound of the wind blowing through the treetops. The crackling of dead leaves. Footsteps. His mind urged him to remain still, to be calm, even as his legs desired to run again.

The darkness lifted and the strong moonlight returned. The sudden shift to light momentarily blinded him. Jonathan blinked hard until his eyes adjusted. He scanned the area. Something wasn’t right. He studied the scene before him trying to figure out what was different. Then it hit him. A dark form stood several yards in front of him cutting him off from the woods. A form that wasn’t there before the unexpected darkness fell. He strained his eyes trying to identify the figure. As he stared, the form moved. Jonathan was rooted to the spot as the person came closer. When it was only feet away from him, he saw a face peer at him from under a hood.


“Oh shit!” Jonathan muttered as he recognized the feminine voice. Hope drained from him. He had to keep his wits about him. He had to get away.

“Darling! Imagine running into you. Out here in the middle of nowhere.” She walked toward him. “Of course, that does raise a whole other question. Whatever are you doing out here in the middle of the night?”

“L … Lil … Lillith!”

Jonathan swallowed nervously. Lillith lowered the hood. Her golden hair reflected the white moonlight. Her smile lit her entire face. Jonathan’s breath caught in his throat. Lillith’s eyes bore into him. So often, he had admired her from afar, longing to be near her. To breathe in the scent of her. To feel the heat from her body next to him.

She stopped a mere step from him.

“I needed some fresh air. It’s a … good night … for a walk,” he stammered.

He couldn’t tear his gaze from her eyes. They seemed unnaturally large and dark. The eyes themselves disappeared into the shadow of her face leaving gaping, empty sockets.

“You don’t strike me as one to go for long, moonlit walks,” she countered. “Especially not by yourself. Besides, I thought you were enjoying Dameon’s hospitality at the house.”

“It got a little crowded.”

“I see. I guess I should be thankful for this opportunity. I haven’t had a chance to have you all to myself in a while. It seems someone is always around you. Asking questions about your work. Wanting your opinion. I feel like I’ve neglected you since introducing you to the rest of my group.”

A shift of her body eliminated the space between them. She pressed into his chest. Her breath warmed his cheek. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Jonathan closed his eyes, the irony of the situation not escaping him. For so long he had daydreamed of this. Being alone with her while she whispered endearments to him. While she caressed him. Just as she was doing now. But instead of the sweet tension of desire, he felt stone cold. More than anything, he wished she was a million miles away.

Lillith smiled widely. Shadows obstructed parts of her face creating the image of a sneering skull. Jonathan shivered.

“You’re so tense, love. And sweating on such a chilly night. Whatever could be wrong?”

“It’s nothing. I’m not feeling well tonight.”

Lillith stroked his hair. “Jonathan, I have a problem. I was at home not long ago and I noticed something awry. You see, I had a special collection of rare books delivered to your workroom a few weeks ago. Extremely valuable books. Now one is missing. I borrowed it from a dear friend who is a collector.”

“I’m sorry, Lillith, but what does this have to do with me?”

Lillith scowled. Her grip tightened. “Jonathan, I brought you into my ring of associates. I introduced you to people–rich, powerful people. I asked for nothing in return. I know that you were cataloguing those rare books. Do you have the missing book?”

Jonathan gazed at Lillith, careful to keep his face relaxed in spite of his fear.


Lillith grabbed a handful of Jonathan’s hair and snapped his head back. With her other hand she pushed down on his shoulder. He gasped. Despite her slight form, she forced him to his knees.

“Wrong answer!” she hissed. Her fingers dug into his flesh piercing through the skin.

“Ahhh!” Jonathan cried out.

“Go ahead and scream. No one will hear. And even if they did, would they care? Is anyone going to miss you?” Lillith taunted him. She lowered her face to his. Red points of light shone out of the dark eye sockets. “To think of the time I wasted on you. Building you up to think you were on the same level as the rest of us. That you were special. That I enjoyed listening to all your tiresome, self-serving ramblings. You only had to do what you were told and I would have rewarded you greatly. Translate a few texts and you would have had anything you wanted at your disposal. But you wouldn’t play along. Had to bring along a moral compass. Couldn’t just look the other way. So now it ends for you.”

Lillith pulled Jonathan forward and buried her face in his neck. She bit deeply into his exposed flesh. Pain exploded through his head. He was excruciatingly aware of Lillith sucking and lapping his blood. Then as suddenly as she attacked, Lillith shoved him away from her. He landed hard on his back.

“Disgusting!” she spat as she wiped his blood off her lips. “Even your blood is foul! It tastes like mold and mildew. Just like the books you surround yourself with.”

As Jonathan struggled to rise onto his elbows, Lillith turned and walked toward the trees. The night wind whipped through her hair flinging it about wildly. She whirled and smiled cruelly at him. When she spoke, venom dripped from her words.

“I didn’t come here alone. I brought two friends with me. They are very anxious to meet you.”

Lillith clapped her hands. Jonathan glanced around nervously, expecting Dameon and one of the other houseguests to appear. Moments passed without anything happening. Confused, he stared at Lillith. Then a faint growl reached his ears. His eyes searched wildly for the source. Two silver wolves appeared on either side of Lillith.


“Oh Jonathan, there is so much you still don’t know about us. Alexa is very talented. She surpasses you in languages and history. Guess that is to be expected when you’ve lived as long as she has. Along the way she found her gift in the mystic arts. These two beauties have been our pets for years. Alexa doesn’t like to take them way from their home. There’s not enough space to roam and hunt in cities. So she created a charm to bring them to us whenever we call.” Lillith petted the two wolves affectionately. “I’ve found that particular spell quite useful. Rena and Rhana have helped me deal with certain problems from time to time. Like tonight.”

“No! Lillith! Please!” Jonathan’s heels dug into the earth as he tried to push himself away. The wolves attacked. Instinctively, Jonathan tucked his face into his chest and wrapped his arms around his head. He tried to curl into a ball but the wolves pounced on him, tearing into Jonathan’s flesh with their claws and teeth. A muzzle pushed its way into the space between Jonathan’s arms and closed around his throat. The great animal shook Jonathan as its teeth sank into the soft tissue of his throat. Its front paws slashed Jonathan’s chest, tearing through his clothing and ripping away skin. A terrified whimper escaped Jonathan. The second wolf clamped its mouth around one of Jonathan’s arms and pulled back, exposing the side of his face. The two animals ferociously shook and clawed Jonathan’s body. He waited for death to arrive, praying it happened quickly before the wolves literally tore him apart.


Available at

Available at CreateSpace

Oops, I did it again!

Ok, it was a very conscious decision.

I entered my second novel in the 2014 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award.

Last year, I accomplished two of my goals. 1) I entered my first novel, Blood Adversaries, in the 2013 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award.  I actually made it through the first round.  Alas, that is as far as I went.  But it was thrilling that out of 10,000 entries, I made the cut to be among the 2,000 who moved to the next level. 2) After the contest was over, I released Blood Adversaries as a Kindle Edition on

Since then I have been editing my second novel and trying to decide when I should release it.  The end of the editing process coincided with the opening of the contest.  So I decided to try again.

Unfortunately, my entry was not selected this time.  However, I decided it was time to release it as a Kindle Edition on

So I’m happy to announce that my second novel, Family Vows, is now available. cover3I have also created an author page on Facebook.  Please take a moment to like my page.

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